The Lotto

I usually don't blog at work (the filters won't let me be great!!!) but I'm coming to live via iPod. This morning J and I had another one our insightful conversations, and we circled back around to the subject of "the lotto." J said awhile back that men really don't have a "plan" to finding the "one" they want to spend forever with. It's kind of like they wake up and decide "I'm gonna keep her, or she's got to go!" I guess I understand why I got jilted in 08...Rev woke up and decided he just didn't see it for Miss Page. While appreciate this info it has made me anxious as hell. According to that theory you should keep your wall up until you know you "won." But is that really living? Being afraid at any moment you can be tossed out? Certainly food for thought. Navigating this relationship stuff is scary as fuck. I hate rejection and I hate having my heart stepped on then handed back to me. So what I want to know, is it worth allowing yourself to fall when you KNOW there is a possibility you can get the Lamar Odom treatment on any given day?

Now that's out of the way, let me get some work done...ATCQ on Pandora to get me through the day....peace.