Mission Accomplished!

I just want to start off by saying, I am feeling amazing right now! This morning it went down.....I ran my first 5k race and it was EVERYTHANG!!!!!!!! I was a bundle of nerves this morning when J and I left the house, I barely could hold a conversation. When we got to the site, I met with my running group and found my running buddy. She was super sweet and eveyone offered me advice for my run. I kept reminding myself not to sprint and to remember pace was the name of the game. The first mile was a little rough because I was at a slower pace, but around mile two, I picked up the pace and that his when "the feeling" and my playlist found their groove. "Kind of Like a Big Deal" kicked on at the most perfect moment. I got to an incline and remembered to keeps my knees up. Coming down the incline after that felt amazing. The next 1.5 miles were cake. I crossed the finish line and the feeling was sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! After I finished, I felt like a million dollars, until I had to throw up. The few times I have thrown up in public, I have been, ahem, intoxicated, so I didn't really care where it was going down. This time I remembered it was not "dollar vodka" night at Crazy Charlies. As I looked for a decent place to be sick, I look out of the corner of my eye and over the strains of Wale's "No Better," I hear J call my name and I ran and hugged him with everything I had. He got a good picture of me crossing the finish line. After getting my complimentary banana and water we headed home and I gave him all the highlights. I appreciated him coming out and supporting me. So now I am gonna soak up a little more time with J and then I'm headed back to be with my babies. I won't lie I miss the both of them to the moon!

Pressure

My interview with the hospital went really well. I hope to hear from them this week. Once all this is said and done I will be pleased because relocation is like a roller coaster. Overall, I am staying optimistic.

Tomorrow I have to go back in the city to get my race packet, but thank God J is driving since the traffic up here is like, whoa. We are supposed to check out the Bob Marley movie tomorrow, it should be dope.

Well, off to HGTV, cotton candy, and warm hugs......peace.

Better Days

Today has been a most excellent day. J and I talked last this morning about yesterday's events and we're good. The lesson learned is: In order to move forward, I am going to need to leave some of my Louis Vuitton trunks behind. No, really. When we react based on past hurt, guess who wins? The person who hurt you. I'm not letting ghosts of boyfriends past kill my future.

I am proud to announce that I am blogging whilst wearing a pair of size 10 pants....that aren't tight. *throws glitter* Hitting my weight loss goals feels amazing! Most importantly my knee is feeling relief from the loss of 16 pounds. I still need help with my eating habits. In due time....

In Relocation 2012 news, I knocked down another thing fromy "to do" list. I found a few daycares for Chunky and the prices differ only a small amount. What I was looking for was availability. I did not want to be all last minute and get hit with the two words I hate: waiting list. So I have options, which is a good thing. Hopefully when I come back this time I will have a solid answer from the Hospital, if not the Fairfax job is still on and I'm still sending resumes.....I'm focused.

Well time to sneak in some studying before the magic hour.....peace.

Poker Face

I have no poker face. Because I have no poker face I am 99% sure I'm going to coming to an episode of Hoaders or Intervention near you in about 20 years. Today I got on Instagram to upload some fresh paint and smack dab on my feed is a picture of a pretty girl and the caption was "surrounded by success." I scrolled a little further and saw that J posted this picture. Have you ever been in such shock your appetite leaves and you can't hear? Yeah that was me. Hot tears began to fill my eyes, I used all my eye muscles to keep them from falling, because I have on liquid liner and there was no need to be upset and look like a raccoon. I tried to rationalize but I just couldn't. J has not never acknowledged me on anyone's social media. He was irritated when I tagged him with me at the mall. I tried to make sense of it. I messaged him, he said she was a friend and he would never do something that hurtful. I believe him, but you know what this showed me? My heart is still a open wound. Either that, or there is something wrong with me that I can't trust. Who even knows anymore. The silver lining is today is a gym day so I can go cry on the treadmill lol. I really liked J but I know there is only so much a man is gonna tolerate and it's safe to say I have done the most.....soooooo this is the part where I *Kanye shrug*

Confessions

* I follow Beyonce's tumblr. It's not so much for her, I just think her and Jay-Z have such a cute relationship and it's nice to see her in a different format

* I am addicted to Gold Canyon ( Google it). The scents are AMAZING and my pod warmer is EVERYTHING!

*I'm STILL eating marshmellow peeps....feel free to stand in judgment lol

*I am my own worst critic

* I need to get my behind back in church. If I knew the Word, I wouldn't be so quick to fall apart or get angry.

* My baby sister is embarking on something big and I am so happy for her! Love is beautiful when you find that right one.

*  My diet and my training don't match up. I am working on getting into the mindset that food is fuel and if I want my runs to progress it's not going to happen on a steady diet of half and half and all fried everything. Mission for the month of May: Try tofu and start crossfit (yikes!)

* I need to get used to being in a couple. Foreign Exchange is playing the Capitol Jazz festival and I made plans to go solo because typically men I have dated before never had any interest of doing anything that required no more than netflix and Chinese takeout. So I made lone ranger plans. Well J let me know he felt some kind of way I didn't ask. I really need to change my thinking because hindsight, I know he would enjoy and he wants to enjoy it WITH. Miss Page. it

Reasonable Doubt

I got good news today, I passed my test for the Fairfax County position and I have been scheduled for my polygraph and background check. This is the last step to be completed before I am hired. I also got an offers from Georgetown and that made me feel good. The only thing bothering me is what I would be giving up. I have a great support system here, and when I move all of that disappears. Starting fresh is always nice but I am afraid of being alone in a new city.  I am an introverted person and it has been hard for me to make new friends. To combat this I am going to find some business before I get there. I am going to get more involved with BGR and I have already put out feelers for a reading club. I know you all are wondering about J, but the truth is I can't stay up under him all the time. J is 30 with no kids so I doubt he wants to spend his evenings listening to Chunk have a tantrum while I beg my kids to eat their dinner. He lives a very fabulous life and sometimes I feel like I will never fit into that equation. So, plan is to keep my calendar full and my spirits high.

Support

I'm SUPER early to my testing for Fairfax county, and I'm going to blog to kill some time.

The struggle to get up here was real. Between losing my debit card and all the traffic I was on edge. When I got to J's my mission was to take a shower and eat. He was going out and I wasn't bothered at all I needed rest. We had pizza and wings ( because I was not in the mood to go anywhere) and we talked about the interviews and he made me laugh with his stories. Everything felt easy. Later that night when he got back I curled up in his arms and y'all for the first time in a long time I felt safe. I'll say it once and I'll say it again, I love that I don't have to "save" J. He's got his stuff in order. Besides that, he's been extremely supportive and gives me a little pep talk when I feel a little down... and he survived 2 rounds of PMS ....applaud that man y'all lol.

Well, time to bang this exam out and slay my interview later.....I'll let you all know how it goes.