Epiphany

I spend a lot of time daydreaming. It's always been problematic for me from time to time. From the time I was a child I would sit and imagine what my "grown up life" would be like. I won't get into details but the daydream and the reality are polar opposites. I'm perfectly fine with that because I love my kids and I am happy with my life. At this stage though, I am daydreaming about my life in the next 5 years. I see myself in a beautiful home (that I bought!), my children are happy, the struggle that has been the last four years is a distant memory and I am climbing the IT ladder, kicking ass and taking names later. Throw in a GOOD husband and a dog and you've got a fairytale. But you know what is scary? If these things don't happen. I have fought so hard for the last nine years and experienced so heartache and disappointment it would be a great disservice to myself and my kids if I left this world accomplishing nothing. When these eyes close, I want it to be said that my life meant more than a bunch of bad decisions. So as of tonight, no more daydreaming. The dreams have turned to goals. Not a bunch of "what could be's" but "what will be!" Prayer, organization and FOCUS are the name of the game.