I Am Woman Hear Me Roar!

The construction of my podcast lit a fire up inside of me and reminded me of who I am. Whenever I get an idea in my head, and I am committed to it, I am going to get it done. The idea of a podcast scared me initially. Microphones, editing, feed burners, FTP sights, my head was swimming. But I sat down, researched and put a plan on paper and got to work. It took me 30 minutes to record and....two hours to edit. After researching free podcast hosting sites, I found a good one and posted my podcast. My eyes where tired, but my mind was hungry....it took me back to the days I would lock myself in my room and program for 5-6 hours at a time. God gave me this ability and the dream and I am going to see it through on my own. I put out feelers for photographers, graphic design and web developers and no one has responded, so instead of putting my dream in another persons hand, I am buying my own camera (it's a simple shoot) and I am hitting Barnes and Nobles to get some graphic design books. Right now I'm über focused right now....I'm not a princess who needs saving...I'm a queen, I get ish done!

Birds of Paradise

Today, I was off for half of the day and decided to museum hop with a friend who came to the DMV for business. The first stop was the National Geographic Museum, which I never knew existed until I heard about the Birds of Paradise exhibit. Fun fact: I love Birds of Paradise,the bird and the flower. If I ever decide to get married again, I want those flowers in my wedding. I was fascinated for weeks in cosmetology school looking at a color placement that would make the hair look like the Birds of Paradise. Next favorite flower next to orchids. Long story short, I was going to learn and get my life. This was an aviary exhibit and I must say the birds were beautiful. I would love to see them in their natural habitat one day. I learned that the male birds have all these cool little dances and things they do for mating season and they are even shapeshifters. The next stop was to a sushi bar owned by The Donovan House(who I heard in the summer, has a really nice rooftop bar), called Zentan. The food was AMAZING! It's a sushi restuarant with a very warm but contemporary decor. My friend ordered the oysters with some kind of caviar relish I went with the spicy scallop roll. The food was really fresh and the cocktails were delicious. I had a really great day today. I need the broadening of my horizons and good conversation.

I was in "writers mode" and took some notes for some freelance work. I am checking a few calendars at some nature publications and I will sumbit them on spec. See, you can work and have fun too.

Well after all the walking and the like, I am going to crawl into this warm bed and pinch myself.....xoxo!

Reasons

I have complained A LOT today, so to shake off some of the negativity, I am going to post the things that ARE going right.

1) I have roof over my head, food in my fridge, a car to drive, clothes to wear and a job to go to every morning.

2) My children are healthy and happy and we are together

3) My unexpected entry into freelancing

4) I have disposable income for the first time in 8 years

5) My sprained ankle, that I thought would hinder my workouts, is healed and I am back to running

6) I have amazing friends and family

7) God loves me

8) I am a NON SMOKER!! (More on that later)

There you have it! So today, perhaps was not such a bad day at all, in the grand scheme of things. In life, there will be high points and low points and I am going to put focus on the positive things while working through the hard stuff.

Finality

Today has been a busy day! I haven't mentioned it here, but when I came to DC, I left a lot of stuff in storage. Since I am now settled in Springfield it was time to get ALL of my things up here. Again, J stepped up and coordinated the move from my storage to my house. Him and our friend moved every thing in the truck in an hour and I got lots of thinking time driving back in the uhaul. Today J did a lot of things that let me know I have a winner on my hands. First, he had plans to go to a bachelor party tonight. The move ran long and he missed it, and didn't complain. I appreciate his selflessness because I have dated a few that would have chunked the deuces near party time. The second thing was he drove the goonies back while I drove the uhaul (I live for doing bad ass stuff like driving a 17ft truck). I have driven with my kids and I know they can be rowdy, but J took it in stride. The bottom line is I got to take a good look at what I have and I like it. I am going to remember this day when I want to start a war over a missed phone call or a late answered text. J showed up and was the man when I needed him and that is what matters.

It was weird looking at the empty storage space. It was my last tie home. It was my safety net. If I didn't like it here, no biggie...majority of my stuff was back home. Now, I'm all in. It felt final, but good.

After the move struggle it's time for Miss Page to relax and enjoy what's left of my Saturday.....

We Be Sluggin'!!

You all KNOW it killed me to make that my title. Today I engaged in a practice known in the DMV as "slugging." To explain, it's where you pick up people going in your direction so you can ride in the HOV-3. Now we all know I am the queen of riding dirty in the HOV so after two tickets, the second which almost ended in an arrest (long story), I was down to pick up some slugs. I did it today and I got from my house to DC in 20 minutes. Usually it takes an hour. I did the same when I got home and I got home dumb early. I like it, plus it's nice to have some company on my commute.

Something else I picked up was NPR. I used to think it had to be the most boring thing in the world, but I didn't give it a chance. There were some good topics discussed. This is important to me because, I live with a two and eight year old, so not a lot of news and current events are on my TV. It keeps me current, so NPR stays in rotation now.

Yesterday I played Wii Fit. As usual, I didn't think much of it because, hey it's a video game, it can't be that hard, right? Wrong. I woke up this morning and EVERYTHING hurt. The upside is I like when it hurts (Scorpio woman...tee hee) that lets me know it's real. This will certainly be apart of my training.

Nothing else to report....I'm headed to bed to do a little reading until my eyes close! Good night....

Run for your Life

FINALLY I got a run in!!!!!! It was a short run, but Jimmy crack corn it was a run and it felt good! I don't mean to boast but I took a 45 day break and shaved 10 seconds off my pace! Charlie Sheenin' at it's finest. If I could get down to a single digit mile I'd be ok. I looked over my runs and I got all misty eyed looking at when I ran an 20 minute mile seven months ago, and now I do that mile in 10.51. Heck in high school I didn't even run that pace.

I miss my boyfriend. He's across the pond, and I can't wait for him to get back. He called today and I missed it. He left me a cute voicemail and that gave me life lol.

I have discovered I have a lot of friends up here I need to reconnect with. The reason I haven't so far is because I have been so darn busy. It looks as if I am going to start having some free time on the weekends so I look forward to hanging with all of them.

My heart is a little heavy tonight because a friendship I have is coming to an end. We weren't BFF's or anything but we all know I am trying to get some boundaries and this friendship doesn't line up with that. No love lost, I just have to look out for my well being and lately this friend has been exhibiting behaviors that I have spent my life running away from. Maybe it's because she is not aware of my upbringing or maybe it's just the way she operates, but the point is I don't think we are compatible as friends.

Time to hit the hay.....there is a 5:15 am run with my name on it!

Thoughts While Waiting

While waiting for my wax pot to warm up I guess I'll blog a bit...

I discovered why I feel all out of sorts. My surroundings were a mess. I practically live in my car (DC commuter life) and it showed. God only knows the last time it was vacuumed and my room was a mess too. I spent some time today cleaning out my car and organizing my house. I feel centered now. I am also going for an early morning run which I know is going to bring some balance back. I scoped out a route and it has everything I need. Distance and hills. To fight any excuses, I am sleeping in my running clothes so I can wake up and hit the door. I have to get back on track.

I am elated to report Chunkys dad is taking this paying child support thing serious. He calls every payday to make sure the money has arrived. I thank God for whatever convicted him to do the right thing. He even calls to tell Chunky goodnight. The latter is more important because I want them to have a relationship.

After a week off of school, my next mini session is starting. I'm proud that I am maintains my 3.5 with all that is going on around me.

Well, the wax is ready, and it's time for a little pain in exchange for beauty....good night!

In This Episode.....

Can I take off my cool for a minute? I am feeling all over the place. There have been a lot of changes in the last week so I'm trying to adjust.

Today I got CRAZY lost! Like in Montgomery County lost. It was my fault. Trying to avoid traffic sans GPS. Not a good look....but it's nice out there, definitely a ton of places to eat and shooooooppppppiiiiiinnnggg!!! I will be going back, on purpose lol.

I have decided to skip the Day Party and hit the zoo with my babies. Miss Beasley has really been asking about going, and I'm taking her! I don't spend a lot of quality time with my kids during the week, so my weekend belongs to them. I want them to know that they are still my first priority and this is OUR journey, not just my journey. These two little people made a big move too, and I want to be sensitive to that.

After submitting an article I notice I get bad writers block. It like my life force has been sucked out of me lol. I have got to find a remedy for that.

Thank you ALL for reading, you encourage me, and I hope I encourage you!

Ten Things Off My Chest

*turns down Hello Kitty boombox*

I don't know if I want to blame this on PMS, but today would be a good day for wine.  And Valium.  Lots of valium.  Just kidding, about the valium part at least. So this is going to be a brain dump of things that are on my mind.  No rhyme or reason just because.....

1) Since we are talking "lady problems", and I am now the proud owner of an insurance card, I have made the decision to go ahead and shut down the factory.  I will be 32 this year, I have two kids, I really am not interested in taking another ride on the L&D wagon.  Chunky is almost 3 AND potty trained, I am not in the mood to start all over.

2) J will be out of town for the week so.........y'all know what that means.  There was a joke I wanted to put here but I will leave the issue alone.  I am not sure he would find it funny at this point.

3) Nupes Day Party on Saturday!  I promise not look any Nupe directly in the eyes.  My sister warned to not never get involved with a Kappa.  She said, "If you think you have wall slid over a man.....get involved with a Kappa, you will be wall sliding all over the place." I'm not about that life.  I am however looking forward to meeting some new people.  I have invited a friend from high school to come with me since we are both new to the area.  Each one teach one.

4) Red Hook Summer by Spike Lee.  Check it out. It's gonna be dope.

5) Hennessey and Ginger Ale.  Dope. Shout out to the homie for putting me on.

6) Whole Foods and Trader Joe's is going to get all my money. 

7) Rosewater, Jojoba oil, coconut oil, and vegetable glycerin make a wonderful leave-in/ detangler.  Moisture and happiness have been restored to my hair.

8) Free Scrubs at work. Charlie Sheenin!

9) No poetry lately.  I am having horrible writers block.

10) I would like a hug.  Among other things right now.

A Day to Remember

Whew! It has been one hell of a Friday! Where to start????? While talking and driving I was not paying attention to the speed, and ended up with ANOTHER ticket!!!! It wasn't just any old traffic stop though. Because I didn't stop at the exit, the first thing the officer said when I rolled down my window was, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't arrest you right now for trying to allude me?!?" Oh. Shit. He said arrest and all I could do is an internal wall slide that was epic in every way. Then ANOTHER officer showed up. I just KNEW it was about to go down. Thank God I walked away with a ticket but as J's brother told me, THEY DO NOT PLAY IN FAIRFAX and he ain't never lied.

After that I called my mom and a man picked up and told me she had been in an accident and he was the tow truck driver. My heart sank. I was scared of what might be said next. I cautiously asked if she was ok and he reassured me she and my daughter were ok, but at that moment I HAD to talk to them. I began to feel enormous guilt for leaving my mom, for leaving Miss Beasley. I just wanted to know they were ok. I frantically called my dad and then the hospital. They got my mom on the phone and I was so happy to hear her voice. She let me know her and Beasley were fine and to turn around (oh y'all know I was headed to the 757 with NO bags! I don't play!) and she would see me in the morning.

My nerves y'all.....today has jumped up and down all over them. I am going to decompress with a hot shower and then I'm headed to bed. The lesson today: God will take care of you....and show you what's important.

On the Six....

Or the Yellow Line....same difference. Today I reached a breaking point with the traffic. I was beginning to grow tired of the soul sucking commute (DC traffic is REAL y'all!) so I decided to take the metro to work and I EFFIN LOVE IT! It just felt good to not have to fight the traffic. The ride back home was dope. So I am now in possession of a SmarTrip card and I'm taking the metro everyday. This also means I catch up on my reading on the way to work which is a huge plus.

Yesterday's events gave me a lot to think about and for some reason my relationship came across my mind. I remember when I met my ex husband he was my EVERYTHANG y'all. Then the more I discovered the more I didn't like. By that time my foolhardy tail was already married to him. In an effort to have a man I didn't take a second look. I didn't ask fact finding questions. I let red flags go unnoticed. The lesson I learned was to never be afraid to walk away if you don't like what you see. You get what you buy. All of my soul searching last night led me to the conclusion that it's ok to state what you want. I have always been hesitant in relationships to call a flag on the play. There was always this voice saying, "If you confront him he may....leave you." To that I now say, "So what?" This doesn't mean talk reckless all the time, but don't be a doormat either. Last night I got my priorities in order and things that were in the top five got bumped waaaay down and some things that were at the bottom got moved up. It's crunch time. I did not come up here to fail. The mission was to craft my IT career, not boo love. My future and my kids are in the balance and I can't take anymore chances. So the heat has been turned up and Miss Page is going harder....stay tuned!