Wooo Saaaahhh

I'm back y'all from my "Britney Spears in the crazy time when she shaved all her hair off" meltdown. Things aren't going so great right now, but I am living each day looking for that silver lining. I just read that last post and I know I am feeling better when I can look at it and say, "Girl stop..." I remembered the Oprah interview when she interviewed Ilyana Vanzant. Ilyana talked about the death of her daughter and how she stayed in bed for months and then contemplated killing herself when she heard a voice saying, "STOP BEING DRAMATIC!!!" I heard that voice....there are worse things that could be happening to me. I should use this time of "reduced work hours" to do somethings I have been wanting to do.

The love life? On hiatus. Indefinitely. I am not ready for a relationship in any capacity. I need to work on being the kind of woman I want to be so I can attract the kind of man that I want in my life. Friends are ok (not the kind that sleep on my couch) but boyfriends? Nope. I think it's best I stay away from the horizontal polka too. Oh.....you didn't know....Celibacy 2011 has been started and stopped like three times....but now it is back on, because it just confuses things.

Who knows something about lawns? I finally get a dwelling that has a front and backyard and I have no idea what I am doing. I was oh so clueless in front of KMart on Saturday. Mulch or Top Soil? What kind of weed killer? Do I need a rake or an aerator? It was just a mess. I ended up getting one bag of top soil for the front lawn(not enough) a rake and some Roundup weed killer. The result? My yard looks worse than before. I dug up all the ground and scattered that scant amount of top soil on the lawn and the result is a dirt patch with two mud puddles(it rained afterward). I think I am going to go with the mulch. My neighbors used it and their lawn looks awesome. The backyard? I think I am going to have to have a party for that one because it is a MESS! I am going to work on the patio part this weekend and the back end next weekend. I just need a place to have cocktails and grill.

Well, I just wanted to assure all of you that I am okay and I will be okay. Thank you Christy, Red Velvet, Hollywood, and Birdie for checking on me, letting me cry, and being awesome. xoxoxo!

P.S. Child Support Update: Ex-hubby now has two choices. Pay or go to jail. I bet he wishes he would have just paid....we all know he does not have $1,400.....