Thursday, February 28, 2013

Big Fight In At The Nc Award Ball After Math

There is chair throwing, a hatchet, and a taser.....and I'm loving it!


I promise I am not going to start singing Maxwell or anything like that. If this was the MySpace days, my mood would read: Fortunate. We all know that I am Queen Complaining Pants and I ride by faithfully on my Wahhhambulance, but I have really been blessed beyond measure. In the last 10 months my life has changed in so many drastic ways, I can't believe sometimes how far God brought me. Last Friday, I saw Raekwon at the Howard Theater and it was EPIC! No, there was not a crowd like it was 1995, but I had a ball! I had absolutely NO voice when I left, from screaming the words to every song in his catalog. On my ride home, I teared up a little bit. Though it was just a 32 dollar ticket for a show (my drinks were free, because...well I'm thought about times when I couldn't afford happy hour, or to take my kids to a dollar a ride carnival. God is good ya'll. That's all I can say. There is not a day that goes by that I do not praise Him for where he brought me from. I thank Him for giving me strength when everyone else told me to give up. I thank Him for closing doors that I tried to force or prop open. I thank Him for all the people that told me I would never be anything, that I would never see life outside of Virginia Beach, that told me because I had two kids I would never make it in life. If it wasn't for those people I would not have fought as hard as I did. I thank God for my Aunt and God brother, who showed me the meaning of friendship and love. I thank Him for my friends Tee Bird, Birdie, and Red Velvet.....those ladies kept me lifted in times when I SURELY thought I was going to go off the cliff. I thank Him for all of the new friendships and the old ones that have been rekindled since I have relocated to the DMV. I thank Him for my Goons, Beasley and Chunk. God saved me through those two. So today, my attitude is gratitude! I am finally on the right regimen of meds for my Bipolar Disorder II. See what happens when you are honest with your doctor? The trilipetal has been great for mood stabilization. I don't feel like a zombie, I am not gaining insane amounts of weight, I just feel....even. The greatest test was last week, when I had to look at my calender to see when my cycle was set to start because there hadn't been a Mariah Carey moment that week. I am happy to be finally on the right track. Spring is quickly approaching so you know what that means! My racing season is on it's way! So far, I am signed up for 5 different races this spring and I am excited to complete my first half marathon in September. I met with my running group a few weeks ago and we talked about our running goals, and mine is to stop being afraid of the "long run". The long run is usually a Sunday run that is between 6-13 miles. Yeah, get into that. The idea of running six miles makes me nervous. I feel like I did the first time I ever rode Apollos Chariot every time I think about it. Do you know how many long runs I have punked out of? Three. I don't want this Sunday to be the fourth. I keep trying to hype myself up. Hell, a nine pound baby passed through this body and I drove myself home from the hospital 2 days later. So I know my body is capable, I just need to get my mind ready. Wish me luck this Sunday as I get up before the chickens and try to bang out 6 miles.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

It's Been a Long Time

Since I am posting this on the fly, this post won't be as detailed as I wanted.

This year started off with a lot of major changes in all areas of my life. Mainly the relationship with my children. I love my kids to the moon! There isn't anything I wouldn't do for them. I say this because sometimes I feel like, despite my love. I am not there for them like I should be. In the middle of all my little meltdowns, I forget I have two small children that need me to be whole, so that I can take care of them. The girl is not doing good in math, and it eats me up that maybe because it was my lack of follow up from being caught up in commuting to and from work, training for races, and school work. It is time for a shift in priorities or better planning. During this time J is tutoring her and he reminds me that good men still exist. He celebrates her good grades and helps her with the not so good grades.

In other news, I have the cold from hell, I'm studying and getting ready for a shift in my career. That's it. Lol

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Growing Up

Yesterday I took my weekly trip to Target (yes Target is the highlight of my weekend these days) and while I s browsing through the linen section in search of the awesomeness that is microfiber sheets, I came across a duvet cover that was on clearance. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE a sale. The problem was, that I had no idea what in the world a duvet cover was. I asked an associate in the store and she gave me a puzzled look, so I went to my next option: I asked Siri. All Siri could offer was it was used to protect your duvet and should be laundered when you launder your sheets. Since the price was so good, I grabbed it and figured I would just try it out and see what happened. When I arrived home, I did some more research and learned that duvet is a fancy word for comforter. Duvet covers are like slipcovers for your comforter. My daughter and I put my comforter in the cover and voila, I had a brand new comforter! The set also came with pillow shams (fancy word for pillow case), so it was like I got a brand new set for 15 dollars. Do you know that I throw away my comforters every year when I get a new one? I could have saved so much money by just buying a duvet cover instead of throwing away perfectly good comforter. After that seemingly grown up purchase, I realized I still live like a 21 year old with their first place. Do you know I do not own a colander? I use the old school method of draining my pasta with the lid. This is also the first year I have ever owned a coffee table and I have been on my own since 2001. I also just started getting coffee mugs and I don't have "nice dishes" for when company comes over. Most of this stems from the fact I am cheap when it comes to certain things. It is my belief that certain things should cost a certain amount. For instance, I think five dollars is too much for a bathroom trash can. I think a bathroom trash can should cost two dollars at the most. Kitchen trashcans? Five dollars is my threshold. It's a trashcan. It holds trash. It really shouldn't cost more than that. I think it absurd J owns a 50 dollar trashcan. Fifty dollars for a trashcan? What is it going to do? Take itself out? I remember last year on my quest for running shoes I set a limit of twenty dollars. Yes, you read that right. I was only willing to spend twenty dollars on my running shoes. I had to give that up when my sister explained to me how I could end up injuring myself in cheap shoes, so I acquiesced, and bout forty dollar running shoes. One of my goals this year is to get a more realistic concept of the cost of items and stop living as if I lived through the Great Depression.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Ratchet Sex Advice with Sam Ridley III

Check out my friend Sam Ridley one of my favorite comedians!  There is more of this hilarity on his YouTube channel and Facebook page.  You can also catch him live at the Jon Lovitz Podcast Theater in California.

Red or Blue

One thing about Bipolar disorder is there is always the quest to stabilize your mood. I went to see my doctor on Thursday and learned that anti-depressants actually make bipolar disorder worse. I have very limited experience with mood stabilizers as the only one I was on was Abilify in 2008. It gave me horrible restless leg and blurred vision. I have never desired to be on lithium because I have not heard good things, and depokate makes my hair fall out. So, now I am trying Trilipetal. It is supposed to be milder for Bipolar II, which is what I have. So far, so good.

A lot of people have asked why I am "putting my business out there." The purpose of this blog is and will always be HONESTY. I will never give the sweet without the bitter. That is life. Social media has made it that people get to create their own realities on the Internet. That isn't me. Besides, I am not ashamed. My life is a TESTIMONY on how God will keep I am not worried about people's judgements, that's their problem. My business is to be the best me EVER!