Thursday, May 31, 2012
In my quest to be a "good girl", I started taking my celexa again and while I felt it "kick in" this week, the last few weeks I have had a side effect that has been a gift and a curse. Loss of appetite. I probably eat a half of a meal all day. It's not because I want to it's just don't have the desire. J and I went out to eat and I believe I ate one whole bite of my chicken sandwich. I am losing weight, I'm 147, but this wasn't the way I wanted to do it. So hopefully this is just a passing side effect.
A few days ago, me, J, and his brother went running and after running a mile, J challenged me to a race for approximately 100 yards. I immediately KNEW I had it in the bag. I would have betted my kids I was gonna win, that's how confident I was. Well.....I was in the lead for about 5 seconds, and then.....I was looking at the back of J's head. Whomp whomp whomp. I got dusted off by my man, who does not run--at all. It's ok though because a rematch is in the works! We are both competitive, so this should be interesting.
Well, it's time to burn the midnight oil studying and then off to bed!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
My hair is FINALLY long enough for two strand twist. It takes me awhile but my 'fro is so pretty afterwards.
I never got the Botox. I'm still cute and my 150 was spent in a better way. Plus I think what I really need is a few months of facials and I'll be good to go!
Next week I am going to start a detox to help rid my body of impurities and maybe this will help my skin and improve my eczema flare up I am having. Speaking of feeling good, in the world of running, I went on a run on Monday morning and the hills up here are FOR REAL! Where I live there are no flat places, just inclines and declines. I will say this, I will be a BEAST on flat ground and my legs are gonna be the business.
Well, off to study, study, study.....
Monday, May 28, 2012
I didn't mention yesterday that J and I got to FINALLY hang out and it felt good. We talked and basically he's in a really busy place and he's trying his best to work me in. I took time to think about what he said while I was running this morning. What kept running through my head is that I am in a new place and I am trying to keep my life on track and the last thing I need to be doing is wall sliding and ugly crying all over the place. I still care for J and like him a lot but I am gonna have to take some of that energy and place it elsewhere because I know how much energy it takes to nurse a broken heart to health and I just don't have it in me at this time.
Though I am not on the dating scene lets talk about the men in DC. It's unicorns EVERYWHERE y'all! Talk about ambitious? The men here are that. The only caveat is this area does have a notoriously high HIV rate so.....yeah Trojans for everyone!
Today is looking like a trip to the Merry Lands.....everyone enjoy your day!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
*I hate being lied to by omission
*I think I have heard and used the phrase "At the same damn time" enough in the last hour to last me for a lifetime
*I'm treating tonight like a race....I am going to pace myself
*I recognize who cares about me in my life and I them all for that
Well it's the magic hour and I'm off to have a little fun in the city! Farewell my loves.....
Saturday, May 26, 2012
I went to Hazels potluck and had a blast! I got a chance to meet some new people and try some really good vegetarian dishes.
Despite being in close proximity where it is gonna go down this weekend, I'm gonna chill tonight.
I haven't updated much on my weight loss but I will say this, I wore shorts for the first time since I had Miss Beasley. I am incredibly proud....now the goal is to keep it off!
<p>First, I want to welcome a new reader to my blog.....Heeeeeyyyyy Mama Page!!!! Yes, my mom called me to tell me she reads my blog. Nothing will change, it's still uncensored....because I'm 31, lol.
Right at this moment, being a mother to a two year old is trying my patience. I feel like I'm Celie and he's Mister. Do you know he waits outside the bathroom door for me while I shower? If it's been to long he starts yelling, "You done Mama?" The public meltdowns are the worse though. It feels as if everyone is staring at you. I think this is karma for the days when I was the mother to an exceptionally well behaved two year old (Miss Beasley) and I would look at the mother who's toddler was having a tantrum and think, "How dreadful." Judge, lest you be judged.
I'm looking forward to today. I'm hanging out with Hazel and hopefully J and I can catch up with each other tonight.
Have a safe weekend everyone!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Today I had some free time so I decided to head to the Smithsonian to see the new exhibits at the American History museum. I did not feel like battling traffic and parking so I took the Metro. These are some of the things I learned today.
* Ask for help if you don't know what train to get on lest you end up lost in the station with a confused look on your face
* Me + Skinny jeans + Chinatown= reckless eyeballing and cat calls
*It gets HOT on the National Mall
*Friday is field trip day at the Smithsonian
I enjoyed my little excursion today and I didn't have to take an ativan or sit in traffic, lol.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Chunky LOVES his new daycare! He comes home everyday with a new song or word that he has learned. He's also on his way to being potty trained!
I talked to Miss Beasley last night and that is what started the flowing of emotions. I miss her so much....I can't wait until school is out so she can come up. It doesn't feel right unless BOTH of my babies are with me.
Well today is certainly shaping up to be a better day....and I am so grateful!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Me no likey. I was all hyped up to move up here and I'm just not feeling it. My mom called today and said she could hear it in my voice. I just feel real alone. I know this is going to pass but it is messing with my mood something serious......I thank God for my son being around because he's the only thing keeping me together right now. I swear I just want my heart to stop hurting. I just wanna find some peace somewhere.....
J and I have a fairly new relationship and I'm beginning to wonder if this move has put too much pressure on something do new. I guess I thought when I got here it would be one big weekend....we would eat dinner together, exercise together, etc. We have done those things but in mass quantities and today when I asked if I was crowding him he stated emphatically, "Yes." Though it stung a little it was the truth. So I am looking forward to running with BGR tonight and even more so excited about the new classes I am enrolled in (yay!) so I think I'll have plenty of business and J can have his space. Balance is key.
Till next time.....xoxoxo
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Now on to the "t". I am loving NOVA!!! I spent most of the day getting acquainted with my surroundings and getting a haircut for Chunky. I think we are going to just fine up here.
Tomorrow I may get up early go to church and take Chunk to the National zoo or aquarium. I have been feeling a little homesick but J has been helping with that. Speaking of J my feelings for him are going to another place. I don't know if it's love because I have confused really liking someone for love and it was disastrous. Whatever it is I'm enjoying it.....
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Well, my packing is as finished as it's ever going to be. I am EXHAUSTED!
Today I decided to try something different when I get to NOVA. This year, I started noticing little lines in my forehead. I am a constant brow furrower so I had a feeling this was coming. I have been researching botox for the last year, but I never got up the nerve until now. Living Social had a deal today for 50% off botox at a dermatologist in Alexandria. After I did my research, I made my appointment for Saturday. I'm nervous but I'm excited. I'll let you know how it goes.
As far as the PMS goes my research has lead me to believe that running and celexa two weeks before my cycle starts are going to be the move. Again, I'll let you know how that goes.
Speaking of running, I have not ran in two weeks! Yikes! When I touch down a run is in order. Plus I'm running another 5k and I need to train to beat my PR.
Some homesickness is starting to set in and I am trying to stay busy once I get there. I signed up for school for the fall semester for prep to take my CCNA exam ( I haven't forgotten, I not that dickmatized lol). So as long as I stay busy I should be fine.
I have been wondering what is going to happen with me and J being in close proximity. I have already heard all the bad "what ifs" and to that I say, "I'm bulletproof." I have survived some tough things in my 31 years so I'm not worried.
Well here's to new adventures, new memories, and happiness!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
6AM: Wake up and look at phone. J NEVER RESPONDED TO MY TEXT FROM LAST NIGHT!!!! THE WORLD IS GONNA END! HORROR!
6:15 Get out of bed and turn on "Man on the Moon"
6:20 Cry hysterically while listening to "Soundtrack to my Life"
6:25 Get my kids ready. Hug my daughter while crying some more.
7:45 Drive to work amped listening to "Mercy". Look at me y'all I'm training on a private jet!
8:00 Call J. No answer. Amy Winehouse. Love is a Losing Game.
8:30 Get to work. It's raining. I'm late. My socks are wet. Tears. Thank God it's raining.
9:20 I decide to eat my feelings. Cafeteria. Egg, Cheese, and sausage sandwich. I tear up a little. Sip my half and half. The whole meal feels like a hug.
9:45 I go back to my office. Hate PMS. Hate the sad, weeping, angry person I become. I have a plan. Google "hysterectomy." No plumbing, no problem. Too extreme. Call GYN. No appointment until the 22nd. Shit. I'm moving. Hang up.
This morning has been.....a mess. Once I get settled in NOVA I am going to find a GYN who specializes in PMDD. I do not have time for raw emotions for a week out of the month. I know I'm not the only one so I'm gonna take y'all on my quest to tame my PMS, if I can just help one person....*tears up...just playing*....stay tuned!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
I enjoyed spending Mothers day with you. I wouldn't have had it any other way. We watched Unsung, laughed, took a nap, and laughed some more. Before we said our good byes it hit me that after Friday, you will no longer be a 30 minute drive away. I will miss being able to crawl in your bed when I am worn out from the troubles of the world. I will miss our midweek dinners and our little shopping trips. The biggest regret I feel is putting other people before you and not visiting more when I had the chance.
I hope you will understand that this move is ONLY about making a better for my kids. You gave me my roots and today you gave me my wings. I will take with me all you have taught me, and I'm going to make you proud. I love you and I promise to visit as often as I can. Now promise me you'll learn how to work Skype so we can see each other everyday lol.
Your Big Baby :)
Saturday, May 12, 2012
* During a watergun fight, no matter how intoxicated you are, don't try to do a tuck and roll move in the grass...you will end up itching
*Wale is my new boyfriend in my head lol
*I can heat up a grill much faster than last year
* I cannot drink like I used to
* My kids are dope
* Kanye West's "Mercy" is everything!
I had a wonderful day today. The past couple days I have had a TON of things on my mind and this weekend helped take my mind off of of it. Tomorrow me and the Boy are gonna hit up church one last time out here. I will miss my church but thank God they Stream the service every Sunday so I can still catch it. Good night all!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Today has been a long stressful day, but I don't want to talk about that. This part is for grown folks.....so if you get offended easily, click that "x" at the top!
Y'all...today something happened that has only happened about two other times in my life. I had a real orgasm. It felt like.......I was floating.....it was everything. Now that I've provided you with your daily TMI let's move on.
I'm celebrating my eighth mother's day this Sunday. I never knew how much I could love until I became a mother. My goonies keep me going when I want to quit.
Well back to more packing and stuff.....
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
I have made a little headway in Packing Struggle: 2012 Edition, lol. The worst part of moving is the packing process. If had wand I would wave it and let the chips fall where they may.
J and I had a really interesting conversation this evening. I opened up a little more to him because I am tired of all the effort I put into pretending like I don't draw his name on my notebook (just playing!) , but you get my drift. I can't predict the future, but what I can do is enjoy this moment that we are in.
My sister is home! It suuuuuucks that I didn't get to spend her first day home with her, but we have a long weekend.
I finally found a product for my moisture loving hair! S/N: This my second time with natural hair and the first time around I was a product junkie. You name it I bought it. This time I am keeping these simple. Shea Organics Curl Soufflé has really rehydrated my hair. My next project is a leave in.....I'm just looking for the right combination of products that will work for my hair.
Time to turn in. I have some running around to do in the morning the back home to pack......
Monday, May 7, 2012
Well, it looks like I have one week to move versus the two I thought I had. It's all good it just means I am going to have to prioritize.
J and I reached a growing point in our relationship. I'm not gonna get into all the details, but I am glad he and I are able to communicate like adults, it's refreshing. The more I learn about him the more I like.
I have my next 5k on the books!!! The best part about being in Northern VA is all of the races!!!!! I am going to have to get a race budget together. My next race is the Race For the Cure on the National Mall. It's going to be dope.
So I did something Saturday that I never thought I'd do.....I bought a bathing suit. It's a monokini and I look pretty dope in it......
I may be a little short on blogging in the next couple of weeks because the moving struggle is real, but I guarantee to have a story to tell!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
My dad and I are going to run a 5k together and I am HYPED! It will be the first thing we have done together since Homerama in 1992.....so say I am excited is an understatement.
I have a lot ahead of me and I'm looking forward to a very productive few weeks!
Today I am going to take a look at a condo, and then after that I think I may do a little shopping and clear my head of some of the clutter......
Saturday, May 5, 2012
I got to see the Bob Marley movie. I must admit, I didn't know much about Bob Marley before seeing the movie, but it was very informative and well put together. I love a good documentary and it didn't hurt that the theater was dope too.
Remind me that eating dinner is important. Last night since I was sans les enfants , I decided I would just have gummi bears for dinner. Big mistake. Around two in the morning I woke up with the hunger headache from hell. I am not a fan of fioricet's side effects, so I rubbed a little lavender on my temples and went back to sleep. I did not get back up until 9.....and I still had a headache and I had the shakes. Thank God for orange juice, because I was having a Steel Magnolias moment.
Time to catch a little power nap before it goes down! Peace.....
Thursday, May 3, 2012
- God is amazing! My life is a testimony that things DO change!
- Idris Elba on Instagram is everything.....not enough chest nekkid pictures, but I still like it lol
- I have really amazing friends. They cheered for me even when I was getting boo'd in the stands.
- Lavender really does work for tension headaches.....I knew I loved lavender for a reason
- My gym time is precious to me. I really need to figure out how I am going to stay on my routine when I move.
- Seche Vite is the best thing since sliced bread.
- I hate the idea of packing. Let the de-cluttering begin!
- I love glitter (duh) it makes everything better
- J is dope.
- Fresh paint on my toes is the best feeling......
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I found myself today sans business, and I for whatever reason started wondering why there had been a small drop off in communication with J. Nothing major, I just noticed we don't talk as much during the day like we used to. Then I took a moment, cleared my mind and realized that J has business and he can't text me all day and whatnot. Besides, I have all this other stuff to do and I need to be focused on that instead of acting like a love struck teenager.
Chunky must read this blog. After my tirade about him not using the potty my boy has been using it faithfully the last two nights and mornings. I really don't want to buy anymore pull ups. I want that 40 dollars back in my bank account!
After a hiatus from the gym, I am going back tonight and I am hyped. I do some of my best brainstorming when I am working out.
Well here is to the upcoming weekend, I am looking forward to doing a little celebrating :)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
I would appreciate if my hair would hurry up and grow. I finally have a junior puff after two months but I want my 'fro back!!!! I want to do a braid out, I want to experiment with flexi rods!!! My TWA will not let me be great!
I need to find some business. Well I have some I have just not been minding it. So the name of the game is to stay focused. I have a lot to do and it must all be executed according to plan, meaning I can't eff around...because I know me....I sometimes will....eff around. Here's to getting things done and learning patience!