Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I finally reached my 90 days at work and I have been using my insurance like it's going out of style
I had my gyn exam today with a new doctor and I can tell I'm gonna stick with her for awhile. The first think I liked is that she introduced herself to me BEFORE I had to get into the gyn uniform: paper top, paper sheet and socks. That made it so much easier to communicate some of my concerns. After the exam she brought me in her office and we had a long conversation about birth control. I decided to go with the para gard but I am scared as hell with all I have researched. Men are lucky...they have two options: vasectomies or condoms. My head is swimming right now, but as always I'll figure it out. Things are progressing nicely with me and J. He challenges me to think bigger. Sometimes I have to check my feelings because Jay-Z said it best, "if your feelings are too intense, his pimp will die" so for now I'm taking deep breathes because like Jagged Edge, "I can't take another heartbreak"....yeah I'm on my music mode tonight lol. Today was hectic as hell at work, but it's all good, but Miss Page needs to rest my mind....good night all! i
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Don't everyone fret, I'm still a virgin lol. Last night I had an interesting conversation with J of a sexual nature( prudes exit stage right). It was nothing too heavy but we got a chance to find out where the other one was coming from. What this conversation brought to my mind was the great debate on "waiting to give up the cookies." Historically, I have never had a "waiting period" and to be honest that has been the problem. In my 31st year I have come realize that I'm not emotionally built for casual sex. I have tried the whole "friends with benefits" thing and all I can say is: epic fail. So I got to thinking about why I was being celibate. I am holding out for a relationship. Instead of asking, "Where is this going?" after my perm has been sweated out, I'll ask first....that way I can make a more informed decision. I'm really feeling J and I don't want this to be another stop on my proverbial trail of tears....here's to thinking smarter in 2012!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
This morning I did my first run of 2012! I did intervals and logged 1.69 miles and I feel amazing! Last night I was in a very sad mood, my best friend Red Velvet helped talk me down from the ledge. When I got up on the trail, I started running and I felt so....free. Every step I made I felt a little of my anxiety go away. All the aggression and frustration began to leave my body. Again, I felt free!
After my run I headed to CHKD with Chunky, it turns out he has an ear infection. It took me by surprise because he is never sick and he hasn't been acting any differently. I'm just happy they caught it early and I didn't have to miss any work.
While I was in Walgreens picking up Chunks meds, I noticed that they were decorating for Singles Awareness Day aka Valentine's Day. This will be year number two without a significant other and I'll admit it, it sucks. So instead of sitting in the house mourning my singledom, I am going to do something special. I'm thinking of a tattoo, wine tasting, or dinner somewhere I wouldn't normally go. Whatever I do it will not be Facebook stalking my exes while hopped up on wine, Xanax, and self-pity.
The thing I am grateful for in my life is my friendship with Red Velvet. Who knew 16 years ago in English class we would forge a friendship that would span that many years? Yesterday when I was at one of my lowest points she gave me a safe space to annouce my fears and insecurities. This means so much to me because I don't have this kind of opportunity with my own family. We all need a person we can confide in without judgment or fear of an argument. She cheers me on whether I'm winning or losing. She is the embodiment of friendship.
Well I'm on mommy duty for the rest of my weekend, and I can't wait for church tomorrow. My spirit needs some MAJOR renewal!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Today was just another day in my life as a single mother. Frustrated is the only word I can think of. Most of my frustration comes from watching my ex husband living is life like it's golden. A couple people have informed me he's been partying it up with his new girlfriend. It's not the girlfriend part that bothers me it's the fact he has abandoned his son. Who does that?
I am kicking ass in the kitchen! Last night I made a wonderful chicken alfredo that was awesome. I'll tell you what, husband #2 will never go hungry lol.
Tonight I am going to have a little wine and forget my troubles....this can't be life.....
Sunday, January 1, 2012
I'm sure you are all wondering how my trip went. I have one word: amazing.
My first night there, J took me to this amazing Japanese restaurant that had the hibachi grill at each table. We caught each other up on what was going on in our lives and shared almost comedic tales of love gone wrong.
When we got back to his house, I began to wrestle with myself about the sleeping arrangements. I didn't want to do too much too fast but I realized if I didn't want to do too much too fast I didn't have to. That's the beauty of not living by default. So after we showered and got in bed he said, "You smell really good!" He told me I smelled like oranges and he liked that. We fell asleep in each others arm, me counting backwards from 100 because....it's been awhile, lol.
The next day at the Smithsonian was dope. We were cracking jokes and learning new things about history and each other. He indulged me a trip through the butterfly garden where I got some nice pictures. Long story short, we had a good time.
Later that night we went to Big night and we had a great time and when midnight hit it was just me and him....I don't know what is going to come of this, but if the old adage about who you spend New Years with is who you spend the year with, is true, I would be happy with that.
So, I brought my New Years in with a happy heart, and my celibacy intact (don't front, y'all wanted to know lol)....2011: Pursuit of Happiness....mission accomplished. Happy New Year!