Friday, April 12, 2013

People You Meet While Working in an Office

Since I was 17 years old, I have always worked in some kind of office environment.  Fifteen years later, I am still working in an office, this time at a hospital and no matter where I go, the same kinds of people work in the office.

The Mole/Tattletale: This person’s responsibility is to make sure management knows everything everyone is doing.  It doesn’t have to violate company policy.  The Mole is there to make sure all facets of your life are exposed to your boss.  Nothing is sacred with this person.  Your funny story about your family vacation?  Before you have said, “The End,” the mole has not only given your boss the detail, for bonus points they make sure you didn’t take “unauthorized leave” for the aforementioned vacation.  To find this person in the office, do what celebrities do.  Plant a fictional story, and if you hear about it then you have found your mole.

The Chronic Party Planner: Don’t get me wrong, I love office potlucks as much as the next person, but sometimes it gets to be a little excessive.  Potluck for Christmas, I can get behind, but a potluck for Groundhog Day?  No.  The party planner spends their time thinking of the next new party and then spending every day forward badgering everyone in the department about what they are bringing to the party.  Some good advice: Don’t tell them you are bringing cups or dessert unless you want to be yelled at about that being a “lazy choice.”  Also, they will make sure to send out passive-aggressive reminders that “if you don’t bring anything, you won’t be eating.”

The Nosey Posey: This person is usually also The Mole.  They must know EVERYTHING!  We all have an element of nosey to us, but this person will take it too far.  They listen to all of your phone conversations (if this person is The Mole, a non work related conversation will be transcribed and reported to your boss) and want to know a lot about your life outside of work on a really uncomfortable level.  In a hospital setting this gets taken to a new level.  In a medical setting the Nosey Posey may even look you up the computer. HIPPA be damned, they NEED to know why you were absent from work for!  I remember when a fellow co-worker went into labor and another co-worker spent all day tracking this poor woman’s dilation via her medical record.  

The Overachiever: I know this one well because this person is me.  The OA is at ALL the meetings and ALL the seminars.  Matter of fact, OA’s LOVE meetings because that is their time to let everyone know how out of the loop they are.  This person has four different job titles and can be found holding a notepad, pen, and a cup of Starbucks at all times.

Miss/Mr. Fake it Till You Make It: This individual can usually be found in management.  They can be found flailing about asking their staff how to do their job.  I had a director that called a meeting once to find out what it was we all exactly did in our department. 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Things Done Changed.....

I was driving home in Cherry Blossom traffic yesterday *shakes fist* and I realized that a few weeks from now will mark my one year anniversary of my relocation to the DMV.  Time has really flown and so many things in my life have changed.

How to be independent of my parents.  Before I moved, I was dependent on my parents for my financial and social life.  I made a great deal less than I do now, so anything I wanted to do, I had to have my parent’s financial assistance for.  Don’t get me wrong, they help every now and again, but I am not dependent on it.  I can have a conversation with my mother without it being a precursor for a loan.  This has helped improve my relationship with my mother since there is now a boundary between our relationship and my finances. 

I have reestablished a relationship with my daughter.   Miss Beasley and I have spent the last 5 years experiencing periods of separation ranging from two weeks to six months.  There was a time when I never thought that I would have a chance to repair my relationship with her.  Since the move, she and I spend more time together and I am learning so much about her that I missed.  She is a wonderful young lady with a great sense of humor and love of music, like her mama.  She is also a sensitive soul so I am learning I can’t talk to her or joke with her the same way I do with her brother.  She is going to spend the summer with my mom, and there was a time when I wasn’t necessarily bothered by her being gone that long, but it occurred to me last night I am REALLY going to miss her, so I don’t think I can do the whole summer.

Way better work ethic.  Man listen…..before I got here I had a HORRIBLE work ethic.  There I said it.  There were times when I would go to work and do eight glorious hours of nothing work related, and I reveled in that.  I was the “slacker.”  As I have gotten older, I am realizing that shit is not cute.  So when I got here, I hit the ground running.  Anything at work I was asked to do, I did it to completion.  All the assignments my co-workers turned down because it wasn’t in their job description, I jumped on it.  One year later, I am being promoted.  Someone believed in me enough to let me put together a Diabetes and Vascular Disease Education program.  Yesterday I had the honor of doing rounds with one of the surgeons.  I thank God for all the opportunities that have been placed before me, and I thank God for maturing me.

Financial Responsibility.  Back home, I would spend money like water, and my income was way below the poverty level.  I never really had to be responsible because as stated in #1, my parents were a phone call away.  Gas is low?  Call mama to fill up the tank.  Can’t afford the sitter this week?  Ask mama to pay for the sitter.  See the running theme?  My financial irresponsibility was running my parents into the ground.  So, I have something I call the “magic number.” The Magic Number is the lowest I will allow my bank account to go at all times.  I have to be ready for emergencies, like missed days from work, medications, doctor’s visits, car repairs, etc.  If something goes wrong up here, there will be no Papa Page rolling up in the F150 to save me. 

A unicorn is just a horse with a horn on its head. My mama always told me, “Never put someone on a pedestal so high they can piss on you.”  I never understood what she meant until now.  I really like J, and I fell into a bit of a “hero worship.”  It was bad.  Anytime he disappointed m e, it hurt the most because I had him on this pedestal. J is just a man.  He is going to fuck up, he is going to make mistakes.  I believe I did this same thing with Rev.  I held both of these men to impossible high standards that they were just not realistic. 

My sister swearing off chain restaurants.  When my sister came back home to visit after living in Atlanta, we were going to take her to dinner and she replied, “No chain restaurants, please.”  I thought she turned into the Queen of all things bougie.  Well, if she is the Queen, I am the Princess, because I too, am not a fan of chain restaurants.  Before you all drag me in the comment section, let me explain.  There are a MILLION places to eat up here, and some of my favorite places to go, are the only location….in the WORLD Craig!  I could not imagine having a Ruby Tuesday’s brunch when the Carlyle in Alexandria or Crème Café on U street  make some of the best brunch food on earth.

There is an actual Five Year Plan.  Five years ago, I had no idea what I wanted to do.  I did, but it was just a bunch of clicks and whistles.  I have taken the time to sit down and think of where I would like to be in 2017.  There is power in writing down your plan, because when you feel unmotivated, it is a good tool to help keep focused.

The Art of Being Humble. If this past year didn’t teach me humility, I don’t know what will.  I have had some highs, but there have been some low, low, low points.  Never knock people when they are low, because you will never know when it will be you couch surfing.

Appreciation for Little Things.  Simply put, because I know what struggle is, I can appreciate abundance.  I almost broke down crying in Children’s Place when I was buying spring clothes for Miss Beasley, I haven’t been able to do that in the last three years.  Every day, I am appreciative.  I hope I never start feeling jaded or entitled.

I can do all things though Christ who strengthens me!  Enough said.


Friday, April 5, 2013

I Didn't Even Know It

As I type this, I am searching for words to describe what happened today on my commute home, but I'm going to do my best.

I was taking the Metro home like I normally do, and when I go off at the Chinatown stop to switch to the Huntington train, while I was listening to my podcast and waiting for the next train I felt a man behind me and what I thought was the corner of his bag on my behind. As I got on the crowded train, I noticed he was behind me again, the corner of his bag bumping me. I felt uncomfortable so I scooted up a little but I noticed he scooted up too. By the next stop, a seat became available and I quickly sat down. He sat down next to me. I didn't think anything of it until I glanced to my left and there he was pleasuring himself right in front of me. I was speechless. I didn't know what to do. I looked at him through sunglass covered eyes and he stated right back never once stopping what he was doing. This shit was NOT ok. I repeated in a quiet voice which got louder, "This man is exposing himself to me!" A woman standing near our seats heard me and frantically began to ask other passengers for the metro police number. The man kept on stroking while they searched for numbers and I sat there with tears of embarrassment and anger rolled down my face. As we approached the Pentagon I called the metro police but I was unable to get a signal so the operator did not hear me. The man pushed past people in the crowded car and make an exit, I stumbled off the train nearly missing my stop and I stood on the platform crying. I have never felt so powerless in my life. I was violated and there was nothing I could do. The man was gone. Disappearing into a sea of people. On my ride home I tried to shake it off, but I couldn't. I blamed myself for wearing snug pants. Maybe I should had a longer coat on. Why was I the target? What made this ok to happen to me? Will I ever ride the Metro again? I'm just full of anger and sadness. When I got home I threw my entire outfit in the trash, and took a long shower which I spent the majority of the time crying hysterically. I won't let this ruin my weekend, but I can't pretend I'm not hurting tremendously. For any of my readers in the DMV the number to call for Metro police is 202-962-2121. Save this number in your phone, as the poster with it is not in every car. With that being said, a glass of wine and mindless television is in order....and definitely some therapy on Monday.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Egg Rolls in the City

Yesterday I took the Goonies to the 135th annual White House Easter Egg Roll and here are the highlights:

1) My son was so proud he dressed himself and I did not discover, until we were on the Metro, that he had no underwear on. Just freeballin....

2. My daughter may have officially aged out of these types of activities. When we arrived on the lawn she looked around and said, "This is stuff for babies." Shade. I did manage to get her to dye an Easter egg or two and look at the First Lady's garden, but that was it for her.

3. My son got his LIFE!!! He met Barney, Wowow Wubzy, and Jake the Pirate. He pretended to be a beekeeper and went crazy for the gymnastics team.

4. There were a lot of decisions out that day too. While it was a high of 63, it was colder my the time our time slot made it in and I could see parents who simply brought their kids for photo ops because there was too much Sundays best going on. Little girls couldn't run or participate in crafts because of their Easter get ups. I was glad I dressed the kids in what we would call "Friday Casual" look.

5. No President Obama but I did see Jordin Sparks and B Smith so I was somewhat pleased.

The event was put together beautifully an ran smoothly. I was happy we were able to be a part of that.