Saturday, November 17, 2012

Revelation

What a day!!!! This morning I had the pleasure of watching my daughter graduate from College for Kids, her college prep class she takes on the weekend. My inner thug was murked a little while I watched her come across the stage in her cap and gown. She is so eager to go to college and I pray she keeps that enthusiasm. I just don't want her to get caught up like I did.

After her graduation we (my parents came from out of town) went to the outlet and finished up with dinner nearby. Later my Aunt and my God brother came by and they all reminisced on their time in Guam and my children were in seventh heaven playing with my God brother. So in mid conversation, my aunt ask me what I need for my new abode, she wanted to give me some housewarming gifts. I started listing a few odds and ends and her and my mom split the list and there you have it. As we drove back from Target, I began to think about all the years and energy I have spent on my quest to feel loved. I will be honest and say 90% of the foolish things I have done were because I wanted someone to love me. Well tonight I stepped back from staring at the single tree and looked at the forrest. I HAVE BEEN LOVED THE WHOLE TIME!!! Every time my mom was there for me when people cried, "Let her fall", that was love. When my aunt opened her home to me for free when I first got here, that was love. When Tee and Red Velvet call because they sensed I was feeling down, that was love! I could sit here all night and go over all the times I was shown love, but I was to blind to see it!!! I'm out here searching and doing the most for something I already have. I will probably have a good soul cleansing cry tonight because this is a major revelation for me. Time to turn in, my baby is running her first 5k in the morning, and I have some cheering to do!

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