Every so often, something will happen that causes me to pause and take inventory of my life. Lately my biggest task is tackling my insecurities. I wish I saw myself as other people did. I get tired of beating myself up and I am longing for the day that I TRULY love myself. I emphasize "truly" because I have become a master of giving off the illusion of high self esteem. Sure, there are days when I am firing on all cylinders, but there are more days where I wish I was someone else. When I was home, I ran into my sons old babysitter and she was raving about how pretty I looked. You think I took that compliment? No. I stood there and thought about how, yeah I'm pretty, but not PRETTY, if that makes sense. J is always joking that I have a legion of thirst. Where? Who? I my mind ain't nobody checking for me. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I want to fall in love with me and MEAN IT! The caveat is where do I start? The first place is to spend more time ALONE. Yes, you heard that right. Miss Page needs to roll dolo from state to state! If I need some alone time to see the good in me. Second is to continue my walk with God. It has been a rough one because I am a chronic backslider, but simply put God doesn't make any trash and I am fearfully and wonderfully made. There is also a ministry at church dealing with empowerment and I think it would serve me well to participate. Therapy is nice, but sitting on the couch is not enough, there must be some action. I will keep you all posted on my progress.