Cloud Nine

Hey y'all! I have been studying like hell for my CCNA exam in March. I like teaching myself though, it leaves room for deeper exploration.

Remember how I said I would be spending Singles Awareness Day solo? That honey lamb, is no longer true! I am spending that weekend with J. It's looking very promising to be a great time. He has become my morning commute companion and I won't lie, I missed talking to him while he was on the west coast last week. So I know the question on everyone's mind and mine is, "Will J get some of this Hello Kitty?"* To be honest, I don't know, but I will have a shiny new IUD....so who knows? But you know what puts me at ease, I know that if no Hello Kitty is given, J will not be calling me "wack"....well at least not to my face lol.

Today while grocery shopping, one of my worst fears came true. Miss Beasley has never been a fan of my ex-husband (that child knew he was trouble from the word "go") and I always feared that she would be the one to reveal to her brother his daddy was ratchet. I don't know what I'll ever tell Chunk in regards to his father being grossly absent from his life, but it wasn't going to be biased, just the plain truth. Chunk pointed at man wheeling his shopping cart passed us and said, "Daddy!" Miss Beasley replied, "That's not your daddy, mommy dumped your daddy because he didn't want to work." I quickly scolded her and avoided eye contact with the people who overheard. Though Chunky didn't understand the magnitude of shade that was just unloaded on him, I felt sad for him. He is growing up without his dad in a horrible way. How to I tell him that what his father was is the reason I said ENOUGH! I just hope he understands that every decision I made was to protect him and his sister's future. As far as men in his life he's not lacking. He has his Pop-pop, his barber, the next door neighbor etc. in Chunky's case it IS going to take a village.

Time for me to return to the wonderful world of networking before catching some shut eye. xoxox

Getting Right

I have gotten a CCNA cram guide and wooooo my head is spinning. I am waiting for my actual book to arrive so I am using this as a little intro before I delve in further. I'm pleased at the info I am learning. I come from a programming background, so this is new territory for me, but I got this.

I have made some positive changes in my life, starting with the way I think. For the last 3 years I have been in survival mode. I was so busy living day to day that I couldn't see any further than the next day. I have started saving for my retirement and setting a financial foundation for my kids. I used to be a beast when it came to money and I'm back on that mindset. I'm also feeling extra motivated. I am starting to see there is life beyond where I am. I don't have to stay in then"down trodden single mother" lane. The only way I will stay there is if I want to.

Can we talk about these insane dreams I have been having? Last night I dreamt of William from the show "Girlfriends." He was my boo y'all lol. You know what was different about this dream is that intimacy, not sex was the focus. Subconsciancially that is what I have been craving. I like orgasms as much as the next woman, but I am craving thag feeling of a man's arms around me, soft kisses in my most softest places, sex but with a connection.....then way it should be. That is why I'll be practicing abstinence for a while. I don't want a man who can just make my hello kitty feel good, I want to walk way knowing that our moment of intimacy meant something on both sides. It's hard but you can't put a price on dignity.

Time to unwind, it's been a trying week but God is keeping me. xoxoxo and stay blessed!

Changes

Exceedingly and Abundantly
There is so much going on in my life right now I just don't know whether to laugh or cry. Last Friday, I was offered a position with a Naval Contractor, however, on Monday I received an e-mail from another Naval Contractor who works with one of the major shipyards on the Peninsula. You know, for all the time I spent looking in all the wrong places it is funny how God is bringing all the right places to me. Exceedingly and abundantly, indeed.

Here In My Dreams
Have you ever had a really graphic dream about someone you barely talk to? Well remember MiddleSchoolCrush? I dreamt about him last night. I am not going to get into a lot of details, but he was really good in bed*. See what happens when you don't have sexy time for a long time? You start thinking about peen you never even had. Now I have that weird feeling I get after a graphic dream, like I need to call him or message him on facebook just to see...I don't know if it was good to him too? LOL. I won't do that...but I will "like" one of his statuses in lieu of sending an awkward, "Hey" message.

School Days
Statistics is hard y'all. That is all I have to say about that. I should have given more thought to what I was going to take as my first class. If I make it out with a "C" I will be happy.
I don't know about anyone else, but I have been looking at Miss Beasley's syllabus (yes, second graders have syllabi) and they are learning some heavy duty stuff. I am happy I am back in school, now I can keep up. This month they are studying matter, learning how to write a fictional story and learning about the government. That sounds like my senior year in high school.

Chuuuuuuccccchhhh
I went to church on Sunday for the first time in a long time. The service held a little long, but the message was awesome. There was a certain point in the sermon where the Bishop posed the question, "Where were you with the anointing?" This was an excellent question. I sat in the pew and wondered where I had been with my anointing. It's been to the club, in a hotel room, enjoying herbal supplements, hugged up in a bed with a married man, passed out in the front of a Toyota Camry, it's been everywhere. That question was so powerful that I find before I agree to go somewhere or do something, that I hear that little voice asking, "Where are you taking your anointing?"

Well Damn.....

Well, I knew things were going too good...there is bound to be a road block somewhere. I am not going to report what exactly is going on here, as the subject matter is fraught with controversy and I would rather not get into that here.

On Sunday, I got to see The Friend's true colors, and I must say I didn't like it. Scratch that. It hurt. I spent my Superbowl Sunday (I don't watch football) laying on the couch watching season two of the Real Housewives of Orange County. I wasn't sad or depressed, just feeling the sting of too many things going wrong at once. But in true Victoria Page fashion, I am counting my blessing for the things I have going.

• I have a job. One that pays really well. For once, I am not in a financial crisis. Maybe this weekend I will shop some of my cares away
• The goons are healthy and doing well
• I have a freakin' house!!!!

With all of that being said, I will not let the crisis as of late beat me down or allow myself to be mired in sadness. I had an awesome weekend to say the least. On Friday night my mom surprised me and took both of the kids and I had a wonderful girls night out. Me and Hollywood along with some other friends hit up a strip of clubs and had a BALL!!!! It was good music and good people, what more could a girl ask for? Remember my skype buddy? He was there, and he was a hoot....he kept me laughing and he is easy on the eyes if I do say so...lol. I think from this point we will call him Tall Drink of Water. I must do this again. This weekends adventure? Mike Epps show. I am going by myself and I can't wait for the laughs. Mike Epps is truly one of my favorites. Plus, I sprung for club seating so I get to enjoy liquor and upscale concessions. Hello!

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger" and this latest turn of events WILL make me stronger! xoxoxoxo

You Got A Picasso In Your House!!!!

Shello my dearies!!! It has been a minute, as I have been in the middle of a move and Verizon has been playing reindeer games with my Internet installation. Luckily today I was able to jump on someone else's connection until tomorrow. After spending half an eternity on the phone with Verizon they promised my phone and Internet would be connected by 10am tomorrow. It better be, or I am gonna act up. And I am gonna want a credit on my bill.

The move was good. This time it was a three man crew and they were a lot more polite than the poor man's Dave Chappelle that managed my move that Monday. He reminded me of Chapelle's Leonard Washington character. I was able to put my bed together, paint two rooms, make a massive shopping trip to Target and get 3/4ths of the house unpacked in 8 hours. Not too bad.

Can I just express how much I LOVE this townhouse? I don't think I could live in another apartment without feeling some kind of way. You know what I like the best? The space I have away from The Goons. I love my kids but in that apartment we were all on top of each other. You couldn't go anywhere in the house without being near another person. I also love the fact that I only have to walk to my driveway to take the trash out. No scary trips to the dumpster! We are getting settled in and looking forward to the warmer weather so we can have some fun in the backyard.

You know what's next: Men. Or as like to refer to them "Those weird creatures with penises". The Friend did not make the move with us (even though some of his stuff did), and he has not been here since. He said he was coming, but right now I can't call it. But I will tell you this, the absence of his presence has given me a lot to think about. Friday night, I was enjoying a glass of moscato and watching The Social Network and I was looking at the scenes where they were using algorithms and writing programs. For my long time readers, you will remember that a 25 year old Victoria Page was at Bippity Boppity Boo University (nice local college) working on her Computer Science degree and part of that was C++ programming class. I remember many Saturdays waking up at 8 am to write a program and not finishing until 12 midnight. I wrote all kinds of little programs, calculating taxes, averaging grades, alphabetizing names, etc. It may seem small but if you pull the codes you will see it's a lot of writing and it can be intensive because you have to know what to put where. Anyways, I say this because my sister lectured me about dating beneath myself. She pointed out that I should be dating a WHOLE different caliber of man and I am not. This is when I realized, she is RIGHT. I am not a dumb broad. I WRITE COMPUTER PROGRAMS!!! This feeling was equivalent to when Squire told New-New to smarten up because she had a "Picasso in her house!". I have a Picasso in my house and I have been so busy trying to be something else that I forgot that yeah, I have some brains in my head. So, no long will I be intimidated of men with conversation that goes beyond the new Gucci CD, or what happened at The Club.

I think we have all established and acknowledged that I love sex. Soooooo what do you when you love to talk about the sexy time? Have a Tasteful Treasures Party!!! It was my second night in the new house and I invited some friends over via Facebook and let me tell you, it was a blast! We drank mimosa, took jello shots, played games, and talked about EVERYTHING in that catalog. The best part of the night was who the guest were. I had three people show up that I had not seen in 10 plus years. Yes! Isn't Facebook wonderful? It was awesome to see them! Hollywood came bearing a new kind of Moscato....that knocks that nasty Sutter Home out of the box! It was good to see her too because we haven't had a chance to hang out in a long time. It was a really good time. For once as an adult I didn't feel so socially awkward.

Well, it looks like things are starting off pretty good this year. I am just going to keep pushing for that happiness....I'll be fine once I get it....I'll be good....xoxoxo!

Sexy Song of the Night....

Shouts out to my homegirl Sheila Mac for turning me on to this song........