Run for your Life

FINALLY I got a run in!!!!!! It was a short run, but Jimmy crack corn it was a run and it felt good! I don't mean to boast but I took a 45 day break and shaved 10 seconds off my pace! Charlie Sheenin' at it's finest. If I could get down to a single digit mile I'd be ok. I looked over my runs and I got all misty eyed looking at when I ran an 20 minute mile seven months ago, and now I do that mile in 10.51. Heck in high school I didn't even run that pace.

I miss my boyfriend. He's across the pond, and I can't wait for him to get back. He called today and I missed it. He left me a cute voicemail and that gave me life lol.

I have discovered I have a lot of friends up here I need to reconnect with. The reason I haven't so far is because I have been so darn busy. It looks as if I am going to start having some free time on the weekends so I look forward to hanging with all of them.

My heart is a little heavy tonight because a friendship I have is coming to an end. We weren't BFF's or anything but we all know I am trying to get some boundaries and this friendship doesn't line up with that. No love lost, I just have to look out for my well being and lately this friend has been exhibiting behaviors that I have spent my life running away from. Maybe it's because she is not aware of my upbringing or maybe it's just the way she operates, but the point is I don't think we are compatible as friends.

Time to hit the hay.....there is a 5:15 am run with my name on it!

Thoughts While Waiting

While waiting for my wax pot to warm up I guess I'll blog a bit...

I discovered why I feel all out of sorts. My surroundings were a mess. I practically live in my car (DC commuter life) and it showed. God only knows the last time it was vacuumed and my room was a mess too. I spent some time today cleaning out my car and organizing my house. I feel centered now. I am also going for an early morning run which I know is going to bring some balance back. I scoped out a route and it has everything I need. Distance and hills. To fight any excuses, I am sleeping in my running clothes so I can wake up and hit the door. I have to get back on track.

I am elated to report Chunkys dad is taking this paying child support thing serious. He calls every payday to make sure the money has arrived. I thank God for whatever convicted him to do the right thing. He even calls to tell Chunky goodnight. The latter is more important because I want them to have a relationship.

After a week off of school, my next mini session is starting. I'm proud that I am maintains my 3.5 with all that is going on around me.

Well, the wax is ready, and it's time for a little pain in exchange for beauty....good night!

In This Episode.....

Can I take off my cool for a minute? I am feeling all over the place. There have been a lot of changes in the last week so I'm trying to adjust.

Today I got CRAZY lost! Like in Montgomery County lost. It was my fault. Trying to avoid traffic sans GPS. Not a good look....but it's nice out there, definitely a ton of places to eat and shooooooppppppiiiiiinnnggg!!! I will be going back, on purpose lol.

I have decided to skip the Day Party and hit the zoo with my babies. Miss Beasley has really been asking about going, and I'm taking her! I don't spend a lot of quality time with my kids during the week, so my weekend belongs to them. I want them to know that they are still my first priority and this is OUR journey, not just my journey. These two little people made a big move too, and I want to be sensitive to that.

After submitting an article I notice I get bad writers block. It like my life force has been sucked out of me lol. I have got to find a remedy for that.

Thank you ALL for reading, you encourage me, and I hope I encourage you!

Ten Things Off My Chest

*turns down Hello Kitty boombox*

I don't know if I want to blame this on PMS, but today would be a good day for wine.  And Valium.  Lots of valium.  Just kidding, about the valium part at least. So this is going to be a brain dump of things that are on my mind.  No rhyme or reason just because.....

1) Since we are talking "lady problems", and I am now the proud owner of an insurance card, I have made the decision to go ahead and shut down the factory.  I will be 32 this year, I have two kids, I really am not interested in taking another ride on the L&D wagon.  Chunky is almost 3 AND potty trained, I am not in the mood to start all over.

2) J will be out of town for the week so.........y'all know what that means.  There was a joke I wanted to put here but I will leave the issue alone.  I am not sure he would find it funny at this point.

3) Nupes Day Party on Saturday!  I promise not look any Nupe directly in the eyes.  My sister warned to not never get involved with a Kappa.  She said, "If you think you have wall slid over a man.....get involved with a Kappa, you will be wall sliding all over the place." I'm not about that life.  I am however looking forward to meeting some new people.  I have invited a friend from high school to come with me since we are both new to the area.  Each one teach one.

4) Red Hook Summer by Spike Lee.  Check it out. It's gonna be dope.

5) Hennessey and Ginger Ale.  Dope. Shout out to the homie for putting me on.

6) Whole Foods and Trader Joe's is going to get all my money. 

7) Rosewater, Jojoba oil, coconut oil, and vegetable glycerin make a wonderful leave-in/ detangler.  Moisture and happiness have been restored to my hair.

8) Free Scrubs at work. Charlie Sheenin!

9) No poetry lately.  I am having horrible writers block.

10) I would like a hug.  Among other things right now.

Broken

A couple of post back I talked about some agony I faced regarding J's trip to Vegas. Just to briefly recap, J told me it was a guys trip, he gets there calls me and I discover females were invited and came. I know I said I put the upset behind me, but I'm gonna keep it real...I'm still mad. Joe Jackson. It's nice to front and be all "love, light, and forgiveness" but the whole thing doesn't sit right with me. Let's say I did the same thing. I tell him I'm going to Vegas with my girls and SURPRISE! It's dudes here too! I don't think he would be high fiving me. What I really want to know is why he didn't just say all this in the beginning. When you omit information it raises red flags. At least for me it does. We had a discussion about it but I got a vague answer about timeshares and upgrades, but no real answers. What's really eating me up is that making plans with him is an exercise in futility but anyone everyone else is priority. This is not the first time. There was a time during his "I'm really busy" phase I called him and he tells me he was at a day party with his homegirl. But when I asked him about getting together that day he said he had a graduation to go to and wasn't going to available. See why I'm so irritated? Even as I type this I can hear y'all saying "DROP HIS ASS!" but there is a part of me that feels like he wouldn't intentionally hurt me. Who knows, but what I am going to do is pray (REAL HARD) watch Oprah's Lifeclass and write....

Ordinary People

I can admit when I was wrong. Chunky's dad does have a job now and I just received the first child support. He emailed me everyday to see if it arrived and I was maaaaddd cynical. He told me he was just trying to do the right thing now. I was going to reply "yeah right," but I stopped. I can't count how many times I have tried to make changes in my life and people gave me the "yeah right," and I would stop trying to change because I felt there was no point. I don't want my ex husband to feel discouraged. Something convicted him and I am going to let this man be a father and have a seat. It's easy to be mad but hard to forgive. Today I did just that. I forgave him. It's not healthy to hold on to that type of anger.

That's all I have for now, the Marley movie is on and I'm getting my whole life! Goodnight!

Update!!!

I have so much to say but right now a sister is caught up in life! I am getting settled in Springfield, trying to get acclimated to my surroundings. With all this change, my run game has suffered and I'm feeling a little fluffy. J and I are doing the warrior dash next month and my training needs to start ASAP. Plus, I don't want J dusting me off.

Speaking of J, things are going well. We kinda weathered a little rough spot, and happy we have come to a meeting of the minds. Relationships are work. You have to ask if it's worth hanging in there for, and this case I say, "Yes!"

Miss Beasley is back with me and all is right with the world. I missed her dearly, and I am so happy she is back. She has been a breath of fresh air up here, and I want to show her everything! This weekend I have planned a little outing to the zoo or the Smithsonian. Because she is my child I have a feeling we'll be at the Smithsonian.

This was a small update, but I have some commentary pieces I would like to share....till next time!