Friday, February 3, 2012

Find Some Damn Business!

I think that special time of the month is approaching, because I turned into an angry woman/Scott Mescudi hybrid. J is going out of town again and my imagination just ran away with itself. I started thinking of him meeting some stylish childfree woman and kicking me to the curb. This insecurity haunted me all day, and then when I was on my monster workout, I remember my sister telling me the phrase, "I am enough." I am a good woman, I'm smart, funny, well spoken, personable, and easy going. What you see is what you get. Yup, I'm a single mother, trying to better herself and live my dreams. If J is into the things that make me, me then no skinny,childless model will stand in the way of that. All that aside I am excited to see him and we have some amazing plans. I'm more excited about having our classic conversations but this time in person.

I am studying for my CCNA cert and it seems like I am picking up on the material really well, I forgot for a minute how smart I am. Every time I feel like slacking, I close my eyes and think of me living the life I want. My children are happy and we aren't worried about money, full refrigerators and the finest of everything. There is no success without sacrifice.

Working out is my new hobby. I ran last week and around the .25 mile make something happened: Bone Crusher's "Never Scared" came on and I just started kicking ass. I picked up the pace and I just felt my chest open up. All the frustrationf the last 4 years just floated away. I ran from everything that tried to hurt me: Rev dumping me, that adulterous relationship, my hell of a marriage, all my insecurities. It felt soooooo good. Better than my very first orgasm. Since that day I have been on mission trying to catch that feeling. Running has also been a great outlet to relieve my anxiety. I am loving this new addition in my life.

I have so much to do this upcoming week. I have school plays, workouts and a trip to pack for. Here's to a kickass next week! xoxoxo

1 comment:

  1. I'm in love with working out too! It's my full-time gig at the moment. I get up in the mornings and get the kids dressed and ready for school while getting my gym gear on. Drop them off to school then head in for a 1 to 2 hour workout. I'm happy that your life is moving in the direction that God had planned it to! Strong, Healthy and Sexy is where it's at! (-: