Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Tears Dry on Their Own
For the past few weeks I have been getting a different vibe from J. Like there was something or someone who had his attention. I know he has had a lot going on but it was little things I noticed he stopped doing. No more "good morning" text. I was doing more calling than he did, and when I would attempt to make plans something would always come up or he would just say, "We'll see." Today I attempted to make plans (again) to go to the movies and he responded by saying he might be going to Kings Dominion. Yup, you read that right. He's too busy for me but not to busy for Kings Dominion. Hot tears burned my eyes. I wished the floor would have opened up and swallowed me up on the spot. I have been here before. What usually happens next is "the talk." What is "the talk?" Here goes: It's not you, it's me....I have so much happening right now, it's not fair to you....I just can't commit that kind of time to you....etc. That's not the bad part. The bad part is when he "magically" has time again and "waaaahla" he has a new girlfriend or whatever. This cannot be happening to me. Again. Maybe my sister was right. Who the hell knows anymore? At this exact moment I want to crawl under my desk and continue to weep hysterically, but I have bills to pay and I don't think my co workers want to hear all my raw emotion live. Back to work I go.....where's my damn Kleenex?